[Quick follow-up: work-out completed!]
Something happened to me around my daughter’s first birthday last Fall… I had a very real change of thought process & it forced me to really turn inwards. Inwards in that I truly broke apart my insecurities, my own perceived shortcomings, my crutches, my dilemmas, my stagnation, and my abandoned goals.
Where was this mother I told myself I would be when I have a child?
Where is this business I told myself I would build years ago?
Who’s body is this and why am I always so tired?
Why do I say the things I say at times?… & oh my goodness, would I even accept the actions I showed to “xxx” if I was in their shoes?!
This was it, the moment that I’d needed to seize & here I am still riding out the energetic push towards my better self. I am ever engaged in the beautiful struggle that is personal growth and transformation. I am delicately entwined in a dance between fragile states of breaking & building, seeking a balance that will push me towards the path in which I seek.
What does this look like anyway?
Step 01: Well, it started with cutting my hair. My baby and I chopped off all our hair and I released 10+ years of weight, emotions, parts of me that I was holding onto.. I chopped my hair off, one.. lock.. at.. a.. time.. I’d been feeling like I NEEDED to do this for months and knew that it was finally the right time.
Step 02 was completing the yearly 10-day fast during the 2nd week of January.
Step 03 was jumping into the gym to get my feet wet & jump start my next physical challenge.
Step 04 was choosing to read at LEAST a book a month to start off slowly & just get back to my absolute love of reading.
And here I am, simultaneously still on step “0” and step “5.” Step five is my current #iGot5onit99 challenge of being active & step “0” is Maintenance… through each step and beyond.
| Current status |
As I look at the progress I have made, I am thankful for carrying the resolve to do better and sticking with it, even through minor setbacks (like my recent physical challenges & emotional challenge last week). I look at how the fast reset my diet and reiterated the importance of meal preparation to my family. Removing my locks has shifted weight off of me and serves as a reminder that I can and will continue to redefine myself no matter how long I have chosen to stay at a particular stage in life. Being physically active is tapping into the muscle memory of what I know I am capable of and allowing my body to better heal itself and communicate imbalances with me. Reading frequently again has opened my mind back up to the frequency of being a student of life & set the stage for this class I am enrolled in to get my business off the ground.
Now, I did not plan all of this out from the jump. I literally just did one and organically, thoughts and paths were presented to me & I listened. I listened to the whispering in my dreams, the tug at my heart, and the yearnings of my body. If you could imagine, it was like my ancestors were beckoning me to “get right” and as I began to listen, more breadcrumbs were found. And the packaging to all of these things, are this blog – something I have been told many, many times – that I need to do & something I have been wanting to do. To serve as my journal, a release of thought, a blueprint to this path, something I can look back to.
Well, looking back – I can already see how far I have come & I am looking forward to pushing even further, deeper, higher.
>Respectfully & Humbly Submitted<< ~Mai