Wow, it has been a couple of years since I fasted and it definitely is more than anything, a mental exercise on various levels. For me personally, I dream more vividly & am able to focus akin to when I was in peak performance during my years as an athlete and honor student. I am able to set clear goals and surpass my expectations every time. Additionally, things are just much clearer for me to see and to understand. I have also found, that things that I had focused on, thought about, and truly need are always brought to me, like extra bread when the basket is empty. Well, not quite like that – but I think you understand.
This fast is something that may be part of many cultures, but is attached to the oldest traditional culture that all subsequent variants are derived. Last year, I was unable to take part, because you do not fast when you are pregnant, sick, breastfeeding, or on your menstrual cycle. Without getting too deep into the origins (on this post at least…), it is a time of reflection, lamentation, and to focus on cleansing yourself through your thoughts and actions alike.
This fasting season, I took the opportunity to use it as something like a reset button for myself. Getting back to a healthier place. Getting back focused on my goals. Getting back into better habits over the course of the day. Getting back to doing things that are going to benefit myself, my family, and those around me. In that respect, I think that this fasting period served these purposes very well, and I am pleased at how I have made necessary adjustments to orient myself towards these little victories.
I am now focusing my energies on being consistent with this blog for several reasons.
- The benefit and beauty of being able to transcribe my thoughts is something that has been missed in recent years. I have always found it very soothing to just memorialize my thoughts, and return on a later date to reflect on where I was at and see if I am still moving in the same directions, if I have fallen off, or if my direction is now more refined.
- In so many ways, it serves as a catalyst to change. Changing the way I engage in communication with others, meet other, share ideas, learn, and to also track my growth. As I continue to walk the various legs of my overarching journey; through motherhood, marriage, health, and entrepreneurship, it is a means of keeping me accountable to myself.
- There are a couple of books that I have begun writing over the years, but I have not really been able to completely give myself to the process of writing and I think that is in part due to lack of “exercising” my writing muscles, if that makes sense. Just like anything – the more often you do it, the more proficient you get, the more you understand it, the more confident you get, the more you engage, the more you grow. I am here for that growth!
Ah yes… arm day.
Yes, I went to the gym this evening to get on my arms. I got there pretty late and only had about 35 minutes before it closed for the day so I did not get to do quite as much as I would have liked, but I still did plenty. Due to the time constraint, I allowed myself much less rest between sets than I normally would have. So, here is to hoping I am able to function tomorrow with my legs still dead and my arms possibly falling off when I awake.
I plan on taking before pictures in the next day or two; but I will not be posting them until I have made SOME progress. I want to be able to say; oh this WAS how I looked and this is now. Baby steps. Not that there will be too huge of a transformation, I am already petite. One thing I have to constantly tell people when they try to tell me I am already in good shape; there is a difference between being thin / skinny and being in shape. I know how to dress my body and what is flattering to my unique shape – but I am not where I want to be health wise, which is first and foremost. Secondly, I want to have the confidence of putting on that bathing suit in the summer and knowing I can stand confident in the discipline that etched out the body that is presented. Yes, of course, I want to look good – but most importantly, I want to feel good. For me, that comes from the strength of being disciplined & hard-working.
Funny thing happened today at the grocery store
In 2014 – I had a miscarriage (I lost a set of twins), and a few months after that I had a follow-up appointment with a family health doctor. She reviewed my test results with me and let me know that unfortunately, I would never be able to have children, and if I did happen to, it would not be naturally & she wanted to send me to a fertility specialist to see if I could be helped. It was a miserable time for me as I wanted many children and a big family. To add insult to injury, she was a solid 6-7 months pregnant herself at the time. Fast forward to today, I had my baby girl shopping with me and I was turning to leave the store and a familiar face caught my eye. Low and behold, it was the doctor that had given me this news. I said something along the lines of “Hey… I think you were my doctor a couple years ago?…” She turned and cocked her head slightly to the side and after a few brief moments she said; “Yeah… oh yea! You kind of look familiar.” A few seconds later, it hit her and her eyes got a little bigger, so I just smiled and said, “Yea, I see you had your baby, congratulations!” She gestured at my baby as if to say you too, to which I replied, “Yea, and here is mine.” Neither of us had to say anything, we both knew. I wished her a great remainder of her evening and walked to my car.
It was a great opportunity for me to be thankful in that moment, because for a while, I did not think I would be a mother. Humbling encounter and I am so thankful baby girl made it through.
>Humbly submitted & Always thankful<< ~Mai